Face Your Fears

Why does every single mad scientist look the same? Why's there no variety in this field? Dr. Robotnik, Professor Farnsworth, Dr. Horrible, Professor Membrane, you name a mad scientist and immediately an image is conjured in your head, right? Specifically the goggles. They ALL have these goggles. What is it about these goggles? Where did this trope come from, because I, for the life of me, cannot figure it out. Needless to say, that's what we're dealing with today. And, as with most mad scientists, this guy is one ugly son of a bitch. That's another problem isn't it? They're all typically very unattractive. Big bushy mustaches, enormous noses, their brains popping out of their fluff of electrified hair. Oh wait, that's just Dr. Latexsten here. Yeah, you might be surprised to learn that - especially since you can't see it in the main photo for this post - you can actually see his brain. Wanna see his brain? It's pretty cool. Who doesn't wanna see a...

For some reason, I kind of want to punch Sid & Marty Krofft in the face for this, even though I know it's not their fault. I know they didn't make this mask. Hell, they probably don't even know it exists. And yet...and yet this gives off such Land of the Lost vibes that I feel as though they're personally responsible for it having been birthed from the ether. It just has that stupid goddamn look on its face that screams "I'm a puppet on a cheaply produced yet incredibly influential kids show from the 70s!" and it makes my blood boil. Somebody needs to wipe this fucking smirk off this dinosaurs face. All joking aside, I actually love this mask. In fact, this might be one of my favorites in recent memory. I've always been a sucker for the weirder creatures; deep sea animals, insects, dinosaurs, those kinds of things. So whenever they're utilized in a creative manner, such as this, I can't help but love it even if it looks like he's about ...

Kids! Get your masks on! We're almost at Grandmas! You know, it surprises me just how many different monster designs have been created over the years, and I think it says something about the elasticity of what a "monster" can be that there's been so many unique takes on the concept. For instance, a monster can be a fully black mass with white hot glowing eyes, or a monster could be a tall creature with elongated limbs and sharp teeth that glint in the moonlight, or a monster can be a girl you take out multiple times who in the end ghosts you because despite saying she was looking for love what she was actually looking for was to make herself feel better at the expense of someone else (LAUREN), but no matter what your definition of a monster may be, one thing is certain: there will always be a new version of a monster. But so rarely do we get a monster that looks more like it's going to bake you cookies and tell you stories about the old days than actually do you h...

I really love old circus stuff. While everyone else suddenly seemed to gain and odd and slightly unnerving obsession with clowns online, I have always loved old circus stuff, but the stuff I love isn't clowns. It's the odder stuff. Sideshow stuff. The guys who glue two halves of an animal together to make a new animal they claim they found in the South Pacific while on a hunting trip or the guys who'll just bite the heads off a chicken while it's still alive and especially the old poster art they produced to promote their traveling horror show whenever they rolled into whatever poor unsuspecting sleepy town it was they rolled into that particular month. But there's nothing I love quite more than something with two heads. When I was a little girl, I came across a snake with two heads in my great aunts garden, and ever since then it's been just a lifelong interest of mine, the genetic mutations that are birthed from biology's seedy loins. So, when you combine ...

Read #1 / Read #2 / Read #3 / Read #4 / Read #5 / Read #6 / Read #7 There comes a time where we have to take a look back to the past and see where we've come from, and that time is right now. Welcome to yet another installment of Vintage Mask Roundup! This time, for the eighth edition, we're starting off with something that looks like it should be directly out of a mid 2000s direct to video discount bin horror movie titled something along the lines of "Hogtied" or something like that. In fact, since I don't do much research on these and take them at basically face value, it wouldn't shock me if this was actually just a still from some obscure crappy horror flick, but either way, Pig Butcher deserves to be seen. Here he is coming out of the mens room on his first day on the job (without washing his hands, might I add), ready to get back to slicing and dicing his lower brethren that we've all come to know as delicious. But Pig Butcher isn't scary....

Normally when picking masks for this blog, I would only choose things that feature the mask proper. Occasionally I'll come across one that shows the mask being utilized outside of just general photos, and I'll usually save those for the Round Ups, but this is an instance where I'm willing to break my own rules. There's just something absolutely spectacular about these photos, and the mask is a big part of why. I'll also usually avoid masks that are fairly standard and generic, such as witches, goblins, werewolves, etc, and trolls are no different. They're such a standard amongst the monsters and mask design that I simply refuse to really cover them, often because they're also not ever really done uniquely. But this set of photos, and the mask to boot, proved me wrong. Grandpa Troll here is enjoying a nice summer day on his wicker chair, watching his hideous troll grandchildren play in the yard. I think a big part of what makes this whole thing work is simply...

Every once in a while, you come across something that makes you wish that you'd either never been born, or at the very least hadn't been born with the power of sight. This is one of those times. There's just a lot to unpack with this thing, and quite frankly I'd rather hide in my closet with a revolved than spend anymore time talking about it, but this is what I do, so let's make the best of it. This mask is interesting on a few levels, but let me just say for the record that I have never found clowns creepy. Like, in the slightest. It appears to be a thing everyone else finds creepy, but it just doesn't do anything for me. Then again, I don't find much creepy, so. But then again, this isn't a regular kind of clown, is it? Look at the way this was designed. It's not just a facial covering. It's a facial covering with a face inside . There's eyes, and hair at the top. This isn't just a mask, it's a mask of a person wearing a mask. That...

"It's not a fad, mom and dad, it's a lifestyle!" And thus began the story of Punk Booooster, the scariest punk rocker this side of the afterlife. Countless women were dazzled by not only his musical but also sexual prowess, and he very quickly shot up to the top of the charts of Hell's Hot 100. You know, horror and rock and rock are very closely entwined. In the 80s, there was a plethora of horror movies literally built around heavy metal music and or certain bands. And even in all the films that weren't, the soundtracks often featured rock music. Imagery in rock and roll is often tied closely to that of the occult. Skeletons, satan, etc. So it really comes as no surprise to me that when it came to designing Halloween masks, someone eventually stumbled onto the "I'll do both at once!" model. Frankly, if anything, I'm actually more surprised it hasn't been done more often. And this mask is a great example of doing it right. It's not re...

Read #1 / Read #2 / Read #3 / Read #4 / Read #5 / Read #6 It's that time once again where we take a break from looking at masks to look at slightly older, weirder masks! That's right, it's the ongoing Vintage Mask Roundup, back for it's 7th thrilling installment! And what a start we have, seeing as the first photo we're looking at this time around appears to be Satan's daughter on school picture day. She appears to be wearing a dress from the fashionable Blackbeard line, and honestly looks happy as hell to be there. Satan's daughter always look forward to school picture day. Ya know, this mask design is honestly kinda genuinely unnerving, because you can't see just about anything resembling the head its being worn on. A little bit of the scalp at the top, but that's about it. It almost looks as though it was made with a curvature to it to be wrapped perfectly around her head the way an automobile wraps around a lamp post. But why the pirate fashi...

  There's ugly, and then there's ugly . I know that werewolves aren't exactly supermodels, but I consider them to be some of the prettier monsters around. That being said, a werewolf with an overbite that bad clearly needs help, not to mention he appears to have a third eye growing out of his forehead. The peasoup green background ain't helpin' things much either. This dude's seen better days is all I'm sayin'. But even ugliness has its merits, and I say this from experience. Ugliness aside, this mask is pretty great. It's got a garish burnt orange tone, like this werewolf (whom I'm now calling Terry) was in a self tanning machine for too long, and the ears are in particular really great. The nose is... ...wait, the nose isn't a werewolf snout. Is...is Terry some kind of bat? You know what, that would make a LOT more sense, honestly. Bats are supposed to be kind of ugly, and have weird jawlines. Okay, so maybe I was wrong. Maybe Terry is some...

Sometimes you come across something that just looks like something you should never have seen. This is one of those times. As soon as I set my eyes on this thing, I just felt like I'd suddenly somehow visually unleashed a plague upon my children and my childrens children and their children and so on until my lineage would be wiped clean from time itself. Then I remembered I don't have any children, and likely sadly never will, so I'm the only one whose facing eternal consequences for this and that's not really fair, right? I mean, what fun is a curse if it doesn't effect others? Boooooring. But this mask is so terrifying that my girlfriend genuinely asked me to remove it from our recently viewed list on eBay, because she hated having to see it every single time she landed on the homepage, so I guess it is effecting someone at least. Either way, this thing is downright awful and I love it. This is barely a mask, and more just a work of sheer horror. I figure it's...

Double double, toil and trouble Fire burn and caldron bubble. Forehead of a fenny snake Does a funny mask it make! Hey guys, it's been a while, hasn't it? An addendum before we begin, this blog was supposed to start getting updates again last Friday, but I got violently ill halfway through the week and wasn't capable of doing any work come Friday afternoon, hence here we are. Sorry about that. Anyway, let's talk about this glorious piece of work, shall we? This is a Topstone mask, and the reason I know this is a Topstone mask is because I specifically searched for Topstone masks and this was one of the ones that came up as a result, and boy howdy am I glad it did because this is easily an all time great. Oh sure, we've had a man with a spider on his head , we've had a Vampire with a bat on his head , and we've had a creature with other heads on his head , but this is the first time we've run into someone with a snake on their head, and ya know what? It...