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I Was A Teenage Dinosaur

For some reason, I kind of want to punch Sid & Marty Krofft in the face for this, even though I know it's not their fault. I know they didn't make this mask. Hell, they probably don't even know it exists. And yet...and yet this gives off such Land of the Lost vibes that I feel as though they're personally responsible for it having been birthed from the ether. It just has that stupid goddamn look on its face that screams "I'm a puppet on a cheaply produced yet incredibly influential kids show from the 70s!" and it makes my blood boil. Somebody needs to wipe this fucking smirk off this dinosaurs face.

All joking aside, I actually love this mask.

In fact, this might be one of my favorites in recent memory. I've always been a sucker for the weirder creatures; deep sea animals, insects, dinosaurs, those kinds of things. So whenever they're utilized in a creative manner, such as this, I can't help but love it even if it looks like he's about to star in an awful 80s Nick At Nite sitcom with a stupid title like...like..."Family Dinomics". Seriously though, this is such a great mask. I've also always found these goofy ones to be far more appealing to my own personal sensibilities. While the more detailed or realistic or just flat out gross ones are neat and all, I've always liked my masks with a level of fun to them, and it doesn't get more fun than this.

You know, in hindsight it's kind of amazing how few dinosaur masks we've covered on this blog, isn't it? You'd think there'd have been more! Anyway, these pictures aren't amazing, because - as with every photo I use - they're pulled straight from an eBay listing, so please forgive me, but I've done my best. So let's look at this bad boy shall we?

First off, the eyes. We can't even start without mentioning the eyes. I've always a fan of big eyes, glossy eyes, but these are outright cartoonish and I love it. I especially love the pupils they gave him! More often than not, when a mask has pronounced eyes, they're either glossy, completely blank or totally darkened. But this one literally has pupils, making it all the more real of a character, and I love that attention to detail.

Another thing about the eyes are how set they are, and the brow ridge that are over them, with those mild wrinkle indentations. Again, very very small touch, but very very appreciated. It's tiny little things like that that really give personality to a mask, and something a lot of mask designers and molders often forget to do.

I'm also a fan of the color. Sure, they could've gone with the usual green or the typical brown, but they picked the generally unused but likely most accurate greyish color that I think dinosaurs scales were. I also think, with the reddish tint they used for the eyes that the grey offsets them well, so it was a good color matching. And, of course, the horns all over. Can't have a dinosaur without horns. It's just, like, Paleontology Law 101. And, as with any great dinosaur, he's got a cute little mouth with great little teeth.

Just LOOK at that grin. How do you not love a face like that? Actually the mouth appears rather malleable, like you could truly talk through it, which is nice because most of the time mouths in masks are much too stationary and stiffling, making it hard to be heard through them. Where's the fun in wearing something if you can't keep it on 24/7 and be seen as an actual dinosaur creature, really?

Seriously though, between the horns and the teeth, this guy has so many edges on him that I momentarily thought I was dealing with your typical middle school boys attitude. Also, again look at how absolutely pronounced those eyelids and brows are! Those suckers are super wedged in there, and yet manage to be buggy. Love it.

And this mask looks like it'd be comfortable to wear, which - aside from design - is always the most important aspect honestly. If you're gonna wear this sucker for hours and hours throughout a day on Halloween, you're gonna want it to be comfortable. This thing not only looks like it's comfortable, but also made of quality material, making it less horrible to feel against your skin, and they even give you a little neck slip sleeve so you can really meld it into any outfit you want. Hey, dinosaurs need to be able to accessorize too, dammit!

I also haven't mentioned the little ridges on the side of his head!

Talk about another nice, but totally unnecessary, touch! Once again, these are the kind of details one often leaves out, so whoever made this, good job, you're doing the lords work. It really just, as said before, gives more character to the mask overall, and makes it feel like a real living, breathing dinosaur.

...okay, that was in poor taste, because dinosaurs aren't living or breathing, but you know what I mean. Sorry, don't want the dinosaur crowd to cancel me.

Also, and this is just a personal note, I really love the little dots and circles on his skin. Again, unnecessary, but a lovely little touch to give him more personality and identity.

So sure, he might look like a Krofft Brothers reject, or the often bullied twice removed cousin of Cera from "The Land Before Time", but either way I think he's a little cutie, and he more than earned his spot on this blog just by being so gosh darned loveable.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go give Nickelodeon a call. I have an idea for a sitcom about a dinosaur who becomes a lawyer.

8PM AT FRIDAYS ON NICK @ NITE: "SWORD & SCALE"

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