Face Your Fears

Read #1 / Read #2 / Read #3 / Read #4 / Read #5 / Read #6 / Read #7 There comes a time where we have to take a look back to the past and see where we've come from, and that time is right now. Welcome to yet another installment of Vintage Mask Roundup! This time, for the eighth edition, we're starting off with something that looks like it should be directly out of a mid 2000s direct to video discount bin horror movie titled something along the lines of "Hogtied" or something like that. In fact, since I don't do much research on these and take them at basically face value, it wouldn't shock me if this was actually just a still from some obscure crappy horror flick, but either way, Pig Butcher deserves to be seen. Here he is coming out of the mens room on his first day on the job (without washing his hands, might I add), ready to get back to slicing and dicing his lower brethren that we've all come to know as delicious. But Pig Butcher isn't scary....

Often, when I'm doing my general search through eBay for new masks to cover on this blog, I'll run across something that really shouldn't exist for any real good reason. Usually I simply ignore these and continue scrolling, but I think at this point it's time to talk about what a prevalent issue this has become in the mask world, because my god is it overwhelming me. I've dubbed these types of masks The Masked Terror, and, unfortunately, they are not a badass vigilante group fighting the injustice of the government. Instead, they're merely a collection of masks that terrify and confuse the hell out of us all, and I don't think I should have to suffer alone with this anymore, so I'm taking you with me. Think of this as a sort of "Vintage Mask Roundup" or that one post I did about all the variants of horse masks ( "The Necessary To Cry Coral" ), because it's obviously not a normal post where I just focus on one mask, but instead a s...

Read #1 / Read #2 / Read #3 / Read #4 Well folks, it's been a wild year hasn't it? Here we are, ending our years at post #49, and we're going out with yet another edition of Vintage Mask Roundup. And what better way to kick things off than with our good friend here, Wicker Man Reject? That mask is so shoddy, so very poorly carved, that you can't help but feel somewhat unnerved by it. It looks like something a cult who worships animals and sacrifices people in the woods to their animal god would wear. So, you know, The Wicker Man. But when put together with the rest of the costume, it's pretty great as a whole, honestly. I try to shy away from entire costumes, but this one had such a beautifully eerie mask, and the fact its shot in black and white doesn't hurt the spook factor certainly, that I couldn't resist to include it in this post. Honestly though, even with its inherent creepiness, this is likely the most tame photo of the bunch, so, you know, p...

There's exists a fine line between art and chaos, and when those two intersect, occasionally they create a magnificent thing. This is not one of those things. This is, however, magnificent in its own right for a lot of strange reasons which we'll get into immediately. Aside from what looks like The Incredible Hulk's grape flavored cousin bursting out of the computer screen, this thing raises so many questions, but the first and most important one is obviously...does this even qualify as a mask? There's certain masks that often aren't actually masks, and I feel like this one here is a pretty spotty example of that. To me, a mask is a face that goes over your own face, and while there is a face here, albeit one popping out from the world wide web probably trying to tell you about ALL THESE GREAT DEALS, it isn't really technically a "face". And I can hear someone arguing, "Well, Cyborgs would count, right? Robots would count, right? So why doesn'...

If you grew up when I did, and was online at the age I was, you most likely remember the internets overly bizarre fascination with Ninjas. For some reason everything was Ninjas. Pirates vs Ninjas. Ask A Ninja. The list goes on and on and on. And, while I'm certainly not against Ninjas, not in the abstract anyway, I also was never a huge fan of Kung-Fu films in general. I liked a few here and there, but they overall just weren't my cup of tea. It just isn't really my genre, and I say that as a giant film geek. But that's absolutely what this mask reminds me of. The lead from a sort of Muppet led kung-fu film, which I would absolutely watch, no questions asked. Overall, it's just cartoony enough to not be boring and just goofy enough to not be realistic (okay, I mean, let's be real, this sort of thing was never going to be realistic), it's just a fantastic overall design. I love that they gave him large pointy elf ears in addition to everything else, even thou...

Read #1 / Read #2 / Read #3 Welcome back to yet another installment of Vintage Mask Roundup! The only posts on this blog that may actually qualify as genuinely terrifying, despite every post featuring a somewhat grotesque mask in them. In case you're just joining us, you can read the previous 3 posts in this series just overhead, but the brief rundown is that we go through 5 different vintage photos of people wearing masks and, more or less, make fun of them. As we start the fourth round in this traditional segment, we have our very first contender right above, featuring what look like terrifying shrunken grandmas. Those masks are such perfectly encapsulated examples of uncanny valley that it's not even funny, and falls much more in the terrifying region. They look like people, but they're also just slightly off enough to make you wary and uncomfortable, and then, when put on top of what I can only assume are children being held against their will to model these sorts...

"Vinny, get ova' 'ere," Bobby Bloodhead said, raising his martini to his friend as he sat at the bar beside him; he continued, "Vinny, you a good kid, you got a good 'ead on your shoulders, better than mine at least, cause it ain't all bloody and gross!" And with this they chuckled, Vinny - admittedly - a tad scared to laugh at his boss's joke, but Bobby reassured him it was fine. It was just a little playful banter. Bobby Bloodhead finished his drink and pulled out a pistol, setting it on the bar between them. "Vinny," he continued, "I see a real future for you, I do. But first there's somethin' that ya gotta do for me. Can you do somethin' for me, Vinny? I need you to take care of someone that's been causin' me lotsa trouble lately. His name..." Bobby Bloodhead lit a cigar and puffed off a few rings of smoke before sucking his cheek and grinning. "...is Robby Bloodhead, and he's my twin brotha...

It's October my friends, and that means it's time for a new Vintage Mask Roundup! This is a series on the blog where I cover 5 individual weird photos from the past featuring creepy vintage masks. If you're so inclined, you may read the first one here , and the second here . Now, onto the masks! First we have the image above, which is clearly of a toddler who has ripped off their grandfathers face and will now assume his identity. There's nothing too spooky about this picture, but I do still have questions nonetheless. Like why's the kid in a smock? Was that to shield from the torrential downpour of blood that came gushing out when they ripped of grandpas face? If so, that's some solid parenting. Children are hard enough to keep clean, am I right? If that isn't a smock, and instead part of the costume, and I'm willing to bet it is given how the childs head seems to be covered partially by it, I've got to ask then...what the actual fuck is this costum...

I can just picture this thing riding a skateboard, doing some gnarly grinds before dismounting and sitting down to drink a nice cool IPA while blasting ska out of the boombox he had resting on his shoulders. Because that's just the feeling this image gives me. This guy is a cool guy. A cool reaper, specifically, who skateboards. He's what we 90s kids call a "totally radical dude with tons of 'tude". I know, I know, all slang across all generations is ridiculous, but at least old slang were actual words, so. Just look at that grin on his face, he's not lookin' to harsh your buzz, dawg, he just wants to have a good time, maybe steal away a soul or two. All in a days work for a guy who's name I'm gonna say is, like, Randy or something. We've covered some eerie death type masks here in the past, and we've covered demonic looking creatures as well, but rarely do they come together, and in such a way that works, that makes them really worth discu...

I have never been one to think bugs are gross. When I was little, my stepsister was terrified of spiders, but I've always thought of bugs and insects as my buddies, my pals, mi amigos. If I could, I'd have a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach as a pet and just let him hang out on my shoulders all day. I, admittedly, am a strange woman. But that's why this mask partly bothers me and also partly makes me extremely happy. On one hand, it bothers me that insects are seen as so grotesque, so creepy, so awful that they're perfect Halloween fodder, ranging from decorations to even a full fledged mask as seen here. On the other hand, it makes me super happy that a giant roach masks exists and that I could wear it while boning. Because I would do that. Because, as previously stated, I am a strange woman. Cockroaches are likely, if not my favorite animal, right up there, man. Right at the tippy top of the list. One of my favorite movies was based around cockroaches, the MTV cult classi...

So here we are, back again with the second edition of Vintage Mask Roundup. This time around we have some photos that are relatively not as "vintage" as the first roundup, meaning they're from a lot more recent times, like the 80s or 90s. Still, by todays standards, 2020, that's pretty fucking vintage, so you can't really argue with me. Anyway, first up is what I've titled "Sex Offenders Basement Bar". Seriously though, this is a spooky picture overall. The whole aesthetic of the bar mixed with the brick wall, the wooden ceiling and pipe and the word "BOO" just written in, what I can only assume is the dust of a childs crushed bones, everything about this picture makes me pretty uncomfortable. Not mention that the costume this guy has, it's just a weird wacky witch mask but he's wearing like Lumberjack Business Casual with it. Then he's got those weird elongated glove hands to cap it all off, and, honestly, I feel like now that ...