It's October my friends, and that means it's time for a new Vintage Mask Roundup!
This is a series on the blog where I cover 5 individual weird photos from the past featuring creepy vintage masks. If you're so inclined, you may read the first one here, and the second here. Now, onto the masks! First we have the image above, which is clearly of a toddler who has ripped off their grandfathers face and will now assume his identity. There's nothing too spooky about this picture, but I do still have questions nonetheless. Like why's the kid in a smock? Was that to shield from the torrential downpour of blood that came gushing out when they ripped of grandpas face? If so, that's some solid parenting. Children are hard enough to keep clean, am I right? If that isn't a smock, and instead part of the costume, and I'm willing to bet it is given how the childs head seems to be covered partially by it, I've got to ask then...what the actual fuck is this costume?
This kid is apparently some sort of short, shambling old man ghoul? I don't know, man. I really don't know what to make of this. It's a kid in a hooded smock wearing an old mans face. That really raises more questions than I care to answer.
Next up we have an image of Dorothy after her "adventures" in Oz, which is what her aunt and uncle quickly came to call the sanitarium they had to enclose her in to get her help with these issues. The farmhouse in the back, the classic tint of the image, the fact that she's holding not just a baby doll but also a teddy bear (I'm assuming these are her only day to day companions), all just adds to the overall eeriness of this image. But I especially can't help but focus on the mask itself. This thing is downright unsettling. She looks like a deranged Pippi Longstocking. Honestly, this just looks like the photo of a deranged woman they keep locked in the basement year round and only let out on Halloween. I get the feeling she wears that mask nonstop, that's her face now.
I love this but I want more answers. I crave context for this image. Who was this deranged farm woman and why's she coddling childrens toys? Why does she appear to have ribbons tied around her legs? How many victims does she have hidden away in the cellar? This needs immediate investigating.
Wouldn't be Halloween if I didn't properly include at least one image with a pumpkin in it, right? And what a pumpkin it is! Look at that hideous thing! That's a pumpkin who's gonna sit on the end of your bed and watch you while you sleep. The shit eating grin on this pumpkin as absolutely out of this world, and if this was a real plastic pumpkin you could buy at one point, and anyone has any information on him, PLEASE tell me, because I need to own one! What I DON'T need to own, however, is whatever in gods name that horrifying mask is on that childs face.
Honestly, the pumpkin was enough. You didn't need to up the ante here, kid. I appreciate the effort, but holy fuck is that an unnerving mask. Just black circles under the eyes, a decaying nose and a mouth that looks like it was drawn on by a 1st grader. What makes this all the worse, however, is this thing's got a posse.
I absolutely love how dark this photo is, and I love how everyone is only slightly looking at the camera. I don't know who this kid is, but they really captured something here. Something inhuman, I mean. Nothing about these photos looks natural whatsoever, and I am living for it. I hope these guys had the absolute best time terrorizing their neighbors and sacrificing their families to their lord and master Pumpkin Face McGee.
I also particularly love how Skin Smile is only half lit, it really adds a whole other level of spookiness to the entire thing. He looks so cunning, so devious. He's really plotting something, you can tell, and that something is very likely your demise.
Next up, we've got what I've lovingly coined as Dog Sack. I know, it sounds worse than it is, but actually I'm not sure it can get worse than this. I'm assuming this papier mache terrier faced long john wearing bag of horrors is simply a fat child in a poorly constructed mask, but good lord does it come off as so much more threatening than just that. Why is this child so....rotund? They oozes roundness in a way that, frankly, doesn't seem possible for a person to ooze. And where was this photo taken? In front of the entrance to a a bomb shelter for god sakes? What's with the open black void in the wall behind them? Where's the DOOR? Why does the floor not look like a floor but simply a sample of hardwood they threw on the ground for them to stand on?
If I woke up in the dead of night and saw this thing in my hallway, I'd likely shit my pants and then die, probably in that exact order too. Their short stature matched with their circular body and that face, oh good lord that face, is all one needs to shit oneself to death, if you ask me. Dog Sack is a Lovecraftian terror unlike any we've ever encountered, and frankly, let's hope we never actually encounter them in real life.
This photo has done enough damage as it is.
So let's end things on a somewhat lighter note, and discuss what appears to be the gayest horror I've ever seen.
This guy looks so happy, yet so queer, with his cute little shorts and his pulled high socks, his tucked in patterned shirt and a belt buckle that could pass for an 80s wrist watch. Meanwhile he's standing on what appears to be a porch reminiscent of that from a Tennessee Williams play, while an onlooker - presumably his father, staring out in shame at his sons overly flamboyant behavior - creeps in the background. This mask appears to be a bucktoothed purple monster of some kind, and frankly, as a member of the LGBT+ community, I'm all for it. He looks great. He looks so happy. I get the feeling this mask might be of some cultural significance, but honestly I'm too culturally unenlightened to know outright, nor how to research that exactly, so.
I love to think this is just how this man lives. Day in, day out, goofy and carefree, making silly poses on his parents front porch while he waits for his software upstart to take off. Also this porch is amazing, and this house looks amazing. Look at that goddamned doorframe. That's some classy shit. They've got pillars and everything. These are some rich folk. And yet, he doesn't let his families wealth go to his head and ruin his love for upbeat horror shenanigans. I admire that. Purple bucktoothed Frankenstein here has really discovered how fun it can be to put on a mask, and, for a short while at least, be someone who can feel joy.
I can only hope that one day I too can feel joy.
That's it for this entry of Vintage Mask Roundup! If you enjoyed this piece, feel free to catch up on the others in the series, and we'll have another new installment around Halloween! That's right, you get 2 this month, because it's the spooky month. You lucky devil you. Next week sees our return to regularly scheduled mask content. Thanks for reading!
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