Face Your Fears

Read #1 / Read #2 / Read #3 / Read #4 / Read #5 / Read #6 / Read #7 There comes a time where we have to take a look back to the past and see where we've come from, and that time is right now. Welcome to yet another installment of Vintage Mask Roundup! This time, for the eighth edition, we're starting off with something that looks like it should be directly out of a mid 2000s direct to video discount bin horror movie titled something along the lines of "Hogtied" or something like that. In fact, since I don't do much research on these and take them at basically face value, it wouldn't shock me if this was actually just a still from some obscure crappy horror flick, but either way, Pig Butcher deserves to be seen. Here he is coming out of the mens room on his first day on the job (without washing his hands, might I add), ready to get back to slicing and dicing his lower brethren that we've all come to know as delicious. But Pig Butcher isn't scary....

Normally when picking masks for this blog, I would only choose things that feature the mask proper. Occasionally I'll come across one that shows the mask being utilized outside of just general photos, and I'll usually save those for the Round Ups, but this is an instance where I'm willing to break my own rules. There's just something absolutely spectacular about these photos, and the mask is a big part of why. I'll also usually avoid masks that are fairly standard and generic, such as witches, goblins, werewolves, etc, and trolls are no different. They're such a standard amongst the monsters and mask design that I simply refuse to really cover them, often because they're also not ever really done uniquely. But this set of photos, and the mask to boot, proved me wrong. Grandpa Troll here is enjoying a nice summer day on his wicker chair, watching his hideous troll grandchildren play in the yard. I think a big part of what makes this whole thing work is simply...

Every once in a while, you come across something that makes you wish that you'd either never been born, or at the very least hadn't been born with the power of sight. This is one of those times. There's just a lot to unpack with this thing, and quite frankly I'd rather hide in my closet with a revolved than spend anymore time talking about it, but this is what I do, so let's make the best of it. This mask is interesting on a few levels, but let me just say for the record that I have never found clowns creepy. Like, in the slightest. It appears to be a thing everyone else finds creepy, but it just doesn't do anything for me. Then again, I don't find much creepy, so. But then again, this isn't a regular kind of clown, is it? Look at the way this was designed. It's not just a facial covering. It's a facial covering with a face inside . There's eyes, and hair at the top. This isn't just a mask, it's a mask of a person wearing a mask. That...

"It's not a fad, mom and dad, it's a lifestyle!" And thus began the story of Punk Booooster, the scariest punk rocker this side of the afterlife. Countless women were dazzled by not only his musical but also sexual prowess, and he very quickly shot up to the top of the charts of Hell's Hot 100. You know, horror and rock and rock are very closely entwined. In the 80s, there was a plethora of horror movies literally built around heavy metal music and or certain bands. And even in all the films that weren't, the soundtracks often featured rock music. Imagery in rock and roll is often tied closely to that of the occult. Skeletons, satan, etc. So it really comes as no surprise to me that when it came to designing Halloween masks, someone eventually stumbled onto the "I'll do both at once!" model. Frankly, if anything, I'm actually more surprised it hasn't been done more often. And this mask is a great example of doing it right. It's not re...

"Mom, this year for Halloween, I wanna be zombie Christopher Lloyd!" Well, this mask is certainly the one to use if that's what you're aiming for. And what a delightful mask it isn't, isn't it? Everything about this guy puts you in a good mood when you see him. He's just got an infectious grin (and it likely is infectious, considering how long he's been dead for, please don't let him actually bite you) that you just can't help but appreciate, and those bugging piercing blue eyes that seem to say, "Trust me, I'm not undead, seriously, I won't hurt you, just come stand over here unarmed for a moment and I'll prove it." Sure, his pallor is your standard generic grey/blue mixture, which is certainly nothing new, but it could be worse, and the veins thrown on for good measure, while, again, not expertly made in any sense of the word, are a nice touch at least. In all honesty, it isn't exactly the most original mask. Lord kn...

Read #1 / Read #2 / Read #3 / Read #4 Well folks, it's been a wild year hasn't it? Here we are, ending our years at post #49, and we're going out with yet another edition of Vintage Mask Roundup. And what better way to kick things off than with our good friend here, Wicker Man Reject? That mask is so shoddy, so very poorly carved, that you can't help but feel somewhat unnerved by it. It looks like something a cult who worships animals and sacrifices people in the woods to their animal god would wear. So, you know, The Wicker Man. But when put together with the rest of the costume, it's pretty great as a whole, honestly. I try to shy away from entire costumes, but this one had such a beautifully eerie mask, and the fact its shot in black and white doesn't hurt the spook factor certainly, that I couldn't resist to include it in this post. Honestly though, even with its inherent creepiness, this is likely the most tame photo of the bunch, so, you know, p...

There's exists a fine line between art and chaos, and when those two intersect, occasionally they create a magnificent thing. This is not one of those things. This is, however, magnificent in its own right for a lot of strange reasons which we'll get into immediately. Aside from what looks like The Incredible Hulk's grape flavored cousin bursting out of the computer screen, this thing raises so many questions, but the first and most important one is obviously...does this even qualify as a mask? There's certain masks that often aren't actually masks, and I feel like this one here is a pretty spotty example of that. To me, a mask is a face that goes over your own face, and while there is a face here, albeit one popping out from the world wide web probably trying to tell you about ALL THESE GREAT DEALS, it isn't really technically a "face". And I can hear someone arguing, "Well, Cyborgs would count, right? Robots would count, right? So why doesn'...

If you grew up when I did, and was online at the age I was, you most likely remember the internets overly bizarre fascination with Ninjas. For some reason everything was Ninjas. Pirates vs Ninjas. Ask A Ninja. The list goes on and on and on. And, while I'm certainly not against Ninjas, not in the abstract anyway, I also was never a huge fan of Kung-Fu films in general. I liked a few here and there, but they overall just weren't my cup of tea. It just isn't really my genre, and I say that as a giant film geek. But that's absolutely what this mask reminds me of. The lead from a sort of Muppet led kung-fu film, which I would absolutely watch, no questions asked. Overall, it's just cartoony enough to not be boring and just goofy enough to not be realistic (okay, I mean, let's be real, this sort of thing was never going to be realistic), it's just a fantastic overall design. I love that they gave him large pointy elf ears in addition to everything else, even thou...

Read #1 / Read #2 / Read #3 Welcome back to yet another installment of Vintage Mask Roundup! The only posts on this blog that may actually qualify as genuinely terrifying, despite every post featuring a somewhat grotesque mask in them. In case you're just joining us, you can read the previous 3 posts in this series just overhead, but the brief rundown is that we go through 5 different vintage photos of people wearing masks and, more or less, make fun of them. As we start the fourth round in this traditional segment, we have our very first contender right above, featuring what look like terrifying shrunken grandmas. Those masks are such perfectly encapsulated examples of uncanny valley that it's not even funny, and falls much more in the terrifying region. They look like people, but they're also just slightly off enough to make you wary and uncomfortable, and then, when put on top of what I can only assume are children being held against their will to model these sorts...

Imagine, if you will, that a Werewolf fucked a Lamprey, after a long night consisting of much alcohol consumption and poor decision making skills, and eventually had a baby. That baby would likely look something along the lines of whatever the fuck we're gonna call this thing. What's worse is how the heads get less...head like...the further up this totem pole of monstrosity you go and they begin to look something more akin to a John Carpenter creation. In fact, that's almost exactly what this reminds me of, now that I think of it. This is the dog from 'The Thing'. It isn't that multi-headed masks aren't normal, I see them every so often, but it's more that they're rarely intriguing enough to warrant an entire discussion. But this thing, this thing deserves an entire college thesis dedicated to it. With its grotesque suckerfish nose and it's horrifying yeti like head, it's a solid combination of many uncomfortable feelings, all of which get le...

"Vinny, get ova' 'ere," Bobby Bloodhead said, raising his martini to his friend as he sat at the bar beside him; he continued, "Vinny, you a good kid, you got a good 'ead on your shoulders, better than mine at least, cause it ain't all bloody and gross!" And with this they chuckled, Vinny - admittedly - a tad scared to laugh at his boss's joke, but Bobby reassured him it was fine. It was just a little playful banter. Bobby Bloodhead finished his drink and pulled out a pistol, setting it on the bar between them. "Vinny," he continued, "I see a real future for you, I do. But first there's somethin' that ya gotta do for me. Can you do somethin' for me, Vinny? I need you to take care of someone that's been causin' me lotsa trouble lately. His name..." Bobby Bloodhead lit a cigar and puffed off a few rings of smoke before sucking his cheek and grinning. "...is Robby Bloodhead, and he's my twin brotha...