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The Double Headed Horrors Of Madame Greene


I really love old circus stuff.

While everyone else suddenly seemed to gain and odd and slightly unnerving obsession with clowns online, I have always loved old circus stuff, but the stuff I love isn't clowns. It's the odder stuff. Sideshow stuff. The guys who glue two halves of an animal together to make a new animal they claim they found in the South Pacific while on a hunting trip or the guys who'll just bite the heads off a chicken while it's still alive and especially the old poster art they produced to promote their traveling horror show whenever they rolled into whatever poor unsuspecting sleepy town it was they rolled into that particular month. But there's nothing I love quite more than something with two heads. When I was a little girl, I came across a snake with two heads in my great aunts garden, and ever since then it's been just a lifelong interest of mine, the genetic mutations that are birthed from biology's seedy loins. So, when you combine something already so unusual with a medium that rarely sees such innovation, well, we're in for a treat.

Knowing I was going to come back to the blog this month meant having to prepare, so it was off to eBay for me, which is where I pull all these masks from. As I searched and scrolled and hit page after page, I finally stumbled upon a treasure, and that treasure is this monstrosity right here. This is easily one of the most unique masks I've come across, if only because it's two faced, and that's a rarity. Now, I've done posts about masks with multitudes before, but never like this. For example, back in 2020, in this post titled "The Triple Header", we discussed a mask which featured three different heads - hence the title - but the thing is, these were heads stacked atop one another in a sort of fucked of biologically awful Jenga, not just three separate faces connected to one another. That's what makes Madame Greene here so fascinating, is that she's essentially what was once called a Siamese Twin.

Also, and I'm just going to say it as the fact that it is, the colors on this thing are TREMENDOUS. That green curly hair melds so well against the orange protrusion on their head, while the almost bile colored lips against the chalky white skin makes for an absolutely disgustingly delightful display. The green eyes are also a nice touch. Far too often eyes are just left as empty holes or black dots, and it's a shame when you could do something so much more with them, even by just doing a little. Also, the molding on this thing is great. The wrinkles in the face along with the bulging eyelids and the hooknose all combine to create a truly magnificent creature of delight that any ringmaster would be pleased to have feature in their sideshow!

To be fair, I have no earthly idea what the red thing on their head is supposed to be. At one point I considered that it might be some kind of warped bandana that fused to their conjoined head, but...if that were the case...they'd have to have been born with it for that to happen, and I could be wrong about this but I'm fairly certain babies aren't born with clothes on. Then again most babies also aren't born sharing a face, so I suppose anything is possible. Then I thought it could be their brain bulging out, which, if true, only makes it all the more awesome. Regardless, whatever the hell it is, it's a wonderful little molding that only adds to the overall bizarre design.

But there's one other thing we have to discuss in relation to design, and that's this weird neck covering. You see that long greyish/blueish piece of rubber that juts out from under the heads? Presumably that's to cover the wearers neck, and can be covered up by their clothing, so it looks like these heads are in fact their head. It's an interesting idea, but therein lies a problem...you can't see out of this...or breath. I mean, it looks like there's a little slit in the mouths, but the eyes - and of course I could be wrong since I'm looking at this thing through somewhat small photos and not in person - look completely latexed shut. So...this isn't exactly a mask one could wear for anything other than sitting around and having their photo taken. You can't trick or treat in this and you surely couldn't attend a party of any kind. I mean, you could, sure. Nobody would be stopping you. But you'd also probably commit about several hundred social problems while doing so, so is it really worth it? I mean, aren't you awkward enough already, Jeff? come on.

All that being said, this mask is a work of art. I'm personally not exactly a fan of the wig, but I also cannot deny that it's probably the only kind that would work well with this face, and I do love the color despite my disinterest in its overall design. The only real issue with this mask, actually, from a design standpoint is that the seam of the wig is very visible on the top of the head, and that sort of ruins the immersion. That and, ya know, the fact that most people don't actually have two faces. Now plenty of people are in fact two faced, but that's an entirely different sort of problem.

Madame Greene is amazing, is what I'm trying to say, and I'm happy to start this run off with a strong one. I kind of wanna see the rest of this little carnival troupe and see what else lies behind that silk curtain. Maybe there's a fishman! Maybe there's a girl who eats fire! Maybe there's the rarest of all specimens, a genuinely happy person! Lord only knows what kind of horrors await you at the carnival.

Madame Greene knows though.

Madame Green knows E V E R Y T H I N G.

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