Face Your Fears

    Glory to Glaxnar. If there's something floating somewhere in the ethereal boundless openness that is space, it's probably Glaxnar The Great All Seeing Eye. And I don't just say that because of the expertly well placed nebula background the seller used for these photos. I say that because Glaxnar really does just look like something one would encounter if the furthest reaches of space. Something similar to ourselves, yet so different that we can't fathom what he is, precisely, and thusly he terrifies us to our very core. I've covered one or two other cyclops masks on this blog, but I'm not gonna lie, Glaxnar is by far the single greatest cyclops design I've ever seen, mask form or otherwise. I love the Frankensteinesque appearance he's got of having been sewn back together to complete a face. A face, however, that seems to be missing all its other vital faceisms and is now only home to that of a giant, bulging eyeball. Perfection, quite frankly. The s...

I have never in my life felt as threatened by an inanimate object as I am by this mask. This thing just gives off evil vibes, you feel me? Looking at this ghastly yet cartoonish pig head makes me feel terror in places I didn't know I was capable of feeling terror in. You ever feel terror in your armpits? Yeah, me neither. Until now. And let me state for the record that armpit terror is not a flavor of terror that I'd ever recommend anyone try out. So why exactly, out of all the ghouls and ghosts and monsters and demons that I've covered do I feel like this pig is going to be the one to shank me in an a back alley somewhere? It's the eyes, I think, more than anything else really. It's the eyes. Yeah. They just look so fucking menacing. He's got the thousand yard stare of a serial murderer who's already picked out his next victim, watching them from his car as they piddle about in their front yard, blissfully unaware of the horrors that are about to befall the...

I have never been one to think bugs are gross. When I was little, my stepsister was terrified of spiders, but I've always thought of bugs and insects as my buddies, my pals, mi amigos. If I could, I'd have a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach as a pet and just let him hang out on my shoulders all day. I, admittedly, am a strange woman. But that's why this mask partly bothers me and also partly makes me extremely happy. On one hand, it bothers me that insects are seen as so grotesque, so creepy, so awful that they're perfect Halloween fodder, ranging from decorations to even a full fledged mask as seen here. On the other hand, it makes me super happy that a giant roach masks exists and that I could wear it while boning. Because I would do that. Because, as previously stated, I am a strange woman. Cockroaches are likely, if not my favorite animal, right up there, man. Right at the tippy top of the list. One of my favorite movies was based around cockroaches, the MTV cult classi...

So here we are, back again with the second edition of Vintage Mask Roundup. This time around we have some photos that are relatively not as "vintage" as the first roundup, meaning they're from a lot more recent times, like the 80s or 90s. Still, by todays standards, 2020, that's pretty fucking vintage, so you can't really argue with me. Anyway, first up is what I've titled "Sex Offenders Basement Bar". Seriously though, this is a spooky picture overall. The whole aesthetic of the bar mixed with the brick wall, the wooden ceiling and pipe and the word "BOO" just written in, what I can only assume is the dust of a childs crushed bones, everything about this picture makes me pretty uncomfortable. Not mention that the costume this guy has, it's just a weird wacky witch mask but he's wearing like Lumberjack Business Casual with it. Then he's got those weird elongated glove hands to cap it all off, and, honestly, I feel like now that ...