Face Your Fears

When you're down in Coolsville, be aware that you're also deep in Rubbertown, where the meanest, slickest gangs of monsters meet. This guy, Johnny Horns, is the head (not to be cute) of the toughest gang around, and he's a pretty decent guy despite that leader role. Sure he may act tough, he may ride a motorcycle and have a bedazzled leather jacket that bears the phrase "Kill The Plastics", but otherwise he's a good guy to have around. Johnny Horns isn't a bad guy any means. He's got a good set of morals and a decent head on his head on his shoulders, but that doesn't mean he won't fuck you up and sideways if you cross him or hurt any of his family. He's tough, but he's fair, and he'll give you two shakes of a lambs tail before he brings the hammer of rubber justice down on you hard. Seriously though, this thing is great. It's such a unique design. It's missing a jaw, first of all, despite being a mask you wear around your w...

Let's be honest, this guy looks like an outright criminal. The combination of the bad teeth, the enormous nose, the warts and the beanie, this guy is the epitome of cartoon criminal, right? I can't be the only one who feels this way, can I? It's almost a stereotype it's so spot on, really. But you know the real highlight of this mask? The tag. As much as I love the masks I cover, often I admit the supplemental material comes through in spades just as much if not more, and this tag is a prime example of that. Despite having absolutely no identifying company names on it, it's extremely eye catching; a bright almost goldenrod color, with the most generic text one can muster, it reads thusly: "For a professional look, before using apply greaseless stage makeup or makeup stick around the eyes. MADE IN USA. Available in stores that want the best for their customers." There's a lot to unpack in just those 3 brief sentence fragments, so let's take it one a...

Read #1 / Read #2 / Read #3 / Read #4 / Read #5  Here we are yet again, with the sixth installment of Vintage Mask Roundup! Tallman Jones as I've come to call him, is the first boy in our lineup this time, and man is he tall . Like, obnoxiously so, actually. Why does this photo overall look like something someone took in the dead of night in a mental ward? Everything about this from the pine board walls to the tissuebox shoes to the mask - DEAR GOD THE MASK - makes me so completely unsettled. Job well done I suppose? Let's talk about that mask, man. Hovering somewhere between an executioners mask and a gimp mask, this thing is the absolute epitome of uncomfortable. Like, if the word "uncomfortable" ever took on a physical manifestation, it would be this goddamned mask. And you'd probably punch it right in its horrifying face, let's be honest. The tallness only adds to the whole creepy vibe, not to mention he's got no arms! He's just a tall white sh...