Face Your Fears

I can just picture this thing riding a skateboard, doing some gnarly grinds before dismounting and sitting down to drink a nice cool IPA while blasting ska out of the boombox he had resting on his shoulders. Because that's just the feeling this image gives me. This guy is a cool guy. A cool reaper, specifically, who skateboards. He's what we 90s kids call a "totally radical dude with tons of 'tude". I know, I know, all slang across all generations is ridiculous, but at least old slang were actual words, so. Just look at that grin on his face, he's not lookin' to harsh your buzz, dawg, he just wants to have a good time, maybe steal away a soul or two. All in a days work for a guy who's name I'm gonna say is, like, Randy or something. We've covered some eerie death type masks here in the past, and we've covered demonic looking creatures as well, but rarely do they come together, and in such a way that works, that makes them really worth discu...

    Every now and then I'll come across a truly cursed mask, and I feel like these things certainly fall into that category. These are absolutely horrifying. Are they still artistic? Yes, as hell, actually. But that doesn't make them any less terrifying, bewildering and quite frankly evil, for lack of a better word. I was going to say, originally, that these look like something ripped from the screen of a Blumhouse horror movie, but then I realized they're far more artistic than that, and that's not fair to the masks, as they're actually incredibly creative. These things are nightmare fuel for sure, though. The slight chubbiness that exists in the molding, the professionally kid like facial features added on, and the total lack of color to the face itself are all just factors that make this thing the sort of creature that would easily hunt you down in the dead of night and suck your soul out through your butthole. I mean, just look at that mouth, that mouth was made...

This is giving me some serious Sid & Marty Krofft vibes. Not even joking, this looks like a creature off Land of the Lost or something. And, once again, this is not a dig. I love the Krofft Brothers work, so that's as high a praise as one can give, honestly. But, he also looks sad about his life. His eyelid at the bottom appears to be lifting up, giving him a rather remorseful look, like he's sorry that he has to kill and eat people to survive. He really only wishes to get along, be friends, he doesn't really wanna hurt anyone, but he's also really hungry and who can fault a guy on an empty stomach, am I right? The hair on this mask is wonderful. It's so full and shiny and fluffy, it almost looks real, honestly. Seems to be a running theme around here lately, honestly. Been tracking down a lot of good masks with good hair qualities. This guy looks like he goes to a professional stylist for, fucks sake. Along with the wonderful tone of green, not too dark, not to...

Poor Knife Face Tom Selleck. He's having a hard life. Can't go out to fancy restaurants, can't canoodle comfortably with his wife without possibly injuring her, can't even walk through a metal detector at an airport anymore. Hasn't the man suffered enough? This is truly an injustice. One of America's finest, most celebrated actors and now he has to put up with this? Just tragic. Utterly tragic. And what kind of monster did this? What kind of horrible human being would even want to do such a thing to a national treasure like Tom Selleck? You're a bad person and I hope you rot in hell, whoever you were. You may have broken his face, but you can't break his spirit. All joking aside, this thing is awesome. Knife Faced Tom Selleck is a pretty incredible design, and I absolutely adore it. It's not very often that I run across masks that are this gory, and the ones I do run across are so...blah, or so ordinarily gory that they aren't even remotely inter...