The Creature From The Plaque Lagoon

This is the age old story of a horrible ghoulish beast, and the woman who loves him.

Every now and then I come across a mask while searching for new ones to talk about that genuinely makes me shout excitably by how goddamned cool it is. Unfortunately, most of these masks are so expensive that I can't afford to buy them and add them to my own collection, which is a damn shame considering this one in particular is a perfect companion piece to the mask I bought a few months back. Alas, this is the sad world I live in. This blog isn't a for profit venture, you know. It's a hobby, something I do to get a few chuckles and admire some wicked cool art. I mean, you're certainly welcome to pay me to do this, nobody's stopping you and I'd appreciate it, but I don't expect it to happen. Unless maybe I decide to make rewards for the people who do. Make sexy photoshoots wearing these masks, dressed in skimpy nighties. That sounds good, right? You'd want that, don't lie.

The colors on this thing are the obvious part to bring up, aside from the overall design of course. It pops with brightness, and the colors all mix so super well. That ooze slime green mixed with that evil 80s purple is just perfection to my peepers, not to mention the yellow bits (especially the drool coming out of his mouth). The little fins on the side of the head are also wonderful, and of course the enormous single slit eyes. If this mask were the main course of a delectable meal, it'd be the Fettuccine Afraido. If this mask were a famous dead musician from the most popular band of all time, it'd be George Scarrison. If this mask were a universally beloved TV show from the 80s, it'd be The Wonder Fears. I think you get my drift, so I'll stop with the puns now.

And again, it all boils down to concept and execution. Someone, probably some guy in a tan suit (cause these things were made in the late 80s early 90s and that was just the style then) named Jerry, walked into his artist friends office one day and said, "Bill, I want to make a mask that looks like a mutated goldfish after it ate a container of toxic waste" and Bill, being the ever ready champion of challenging tasks he is, immediately scribbled down a rough draft of this beautiful little guy right here. Jerry and Bill then took their monstrous love child, now dubbed Oozy, up to their boss and presented it to much praise and celebration that it was immediately rushed into production and Jerry and Bill lived forever buried in mountains of riches and women the likes of which we'll never comprehend. I mean, if I ran the mask industry that's how it'd happen, anyway. More than likely what happened is someone just told Bill to make something monster fish related and Bill, after chugging his, likely, 10th beer of the day (and it's only noon, so. Bill has a problem, he's seeking help for it) was like "whatever" and churned out good ol' Oozy.

Either way, however this glorious thing came into being, we can all be certain of one thing; we're fucking lucky it happened. And of course, looking at it from this side angle, we can see really just how much effort and detail went into this thing. Look at the little ridges and linework on his fins, not to mention the little green dimples scattered across his chrome dome. But the best part of all? The absolute best part of this entire thing? That's right. It's the worm. The worm is the absolute best part of this mask, hands down, no contest. And why? Well, first of all, it's just cute, okay? Clearly this thing was hungry and bit into this worm thinking he'd get a tasty treat and suddenly he's hauled up to the surface and put on display for the adorable horror that he is, but even moreso than that, it's just a perfect touch. It adds so much more to the overall design. Like, let's think about this for a minute, okay? Horrible monstrous fish creature? Great idea, but how will people get that he's a fish? I got it! We'll put a worm in his mouth! Fish fucking love worms!

And there you have it, it was that simple, guys! It just adds some context to something that, quite frankly, didn't need any to begin with, because...well...it's a mask, but it's the little touches like that that I truly appreciate.

This thing looks like it stepped right out of a cheesy 90s live action kids movie where some small children, possibly fighting to stop their local power plant from further polluting the lake they swim in every summer, befriend a mutated fish creature who was borne from the toxic waste dumped into it, not unlike that of Blinky from The Simpsons. They have all sorts of wacky adventures, dress him up as an adult to get into R rated movies and in the end the fish monster eats the capitalist power plant owner and then moves in as the kids guardians because they were orphans. This, of course, then leads into the TV series adaptation continuation, titled thusly "Tipping The Scales" where he raises them to the best of his ability, guiding his now teenage children through the tumultuous time of adolescence and maybe learning something about himself along the way.

And as you can tell, I have thought far too much about this fucking mask and it's probably a good thing

that I can't afford it otherwise you'd suddenly be inundated with goofy ass fish dad sitcoms. Frankly, I don't think the world is ready for that yet. No joke though, this mask is one of the top tier I've featured on this blog and honestly a prime example of why I am so happy I started it to begin with. It's nice to know that every now and then, even with my depression as bad as it is, sucking away all the enjoyment out of most things in my day to day life, I WILL come across one thing that will make me as giddy as a child at a soon to be defunct pizzeria for their birthday. These masks inspire me, because they're art, and I'm an artist too, and finding them makes me so happy to see these things still stand the test of time and, due to the price most of them are, are still considered very valuable to a lot of people.

And not every mask has to be immaculately executed to perfection, some of the masks I've featured on this blog, like The Lovely Terror, are great because of their simplicity. There's certainly bonuses to minimalism, but finding these ones, these rare ones that just ooze (quite literally in this sense) identity and creativity and color and design...it's given me something to look forward to. Finding these masks gives me something to look forward to, to being inspired again, to loving the wonderful pieces of art that I discover, and then getting to share them with all of you. Sorry, that got kind of mushy there at the end, but you get the sentiment, so. Thanks Oozy. Maybe one day you can be MY fish dad.