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The Legend Of Chomper McTooth

I would imagine it's pretty easy to get lockjaw when your entire mouth is bigger than the Grand Canyon.

That being said, Chomper McTooth here is an impressive specimen nonetheless, wouldn't you agree? I mean, he would make a dentists job extremely easy, and that's got to count for something. Chomper falls into that rare category of "human masks with monstrous features that makes them very offputting", but even then what is Chomper's crime? Just having a big ass jaw that makes him swallow children as easily as a python swallows a house cat? I don't think that's any reason to be slapped with a monster label, if you ask me. I mean, sure, eating children is certainly worthy of the label, but not his jaw outright.

Chomper is also made all the more horrifying when you visualize what it would actually look like on a persons face. I know it's kind of hard to picture because all we have to go on is this styrofoam mannequin head encased in what appears to be fishnet chainmail, but if you could try to visualize Chomper on an actual human beings person...ooh boy, that'll give you the willies. You'd have a whole ass face peering out of his mouth - like the snack he's trying to consume - and I'm sorry but that's just an unnerving image even in my mind, let alone at a Halloween party.

But you wanna know something really cool?

If you ignore the oddly sexual imagery here, and instead focus on the copyright on the mask that says 2001 Paper Magic, you'll realize we actually have a lead here for a change. I followed this lead and was surprised to discover that actually, they're responsible for a number of masks I've covered on this blog! Doing a quick Google image search led me to uncover a whole slew of masks I've covered on the site, and I suppose this means they were a powerhouse company in the 90s and 2000s. I don't think they're still around, as I couldn't scrounge up either a website or a Wikipedia page, so take that with a grain of salt.

Either way, it's nice to finally have a company to attach to the mask, especially since we're so often in the dark on these things. I personally, despite the excellent artistry and design on display here, do not like these masks that don't fully cover your face, and instead play into the idea of letting your face been seen. The whole point of a mask, to me anyway, is to replace your identity with that of another, even if only momentarily, so to go against that is to go against the entire concept of masks.

Not to mention, in cases like Chomper McTooth, the dislocated jaw Hillbilly wonder, it's just downright weird looking, and more offputting, which I suppose is in the masks favor, but still. A mask should be creepy in and of itself, it shouldn't require your face to be creepy as well. All that does is say you're also horrifying to look at, and that's just bad for your self esteem, right? You're not ugly, come on. You stud you. He's got a fantastic face though, really, the design for Chomper is excellent. He's goofy, almost cartoonish even, and yet there's a dash of unsettling eerieness about him isn't there? Something that just isn't quite right...beyond the whole, you know, extended jaw fiasco he's got goin' on, obviously. Something that, once you see, you immediately recognize he intends to do you harm, so you best run and hide. That perfect mixture of approachable yet frightening is so very hard to pull off right, so kudos to whoever sculpted this bad boy, and whoever designed him. You done good.

All in all he's not the most interesting mask I've covered. In fact I don't even really have a whole lot to say about him, as you can tell, as I'm simply fluffing this piece right now. I love the reddish coloring that is on his eyes, and his lips, and I love the wrinkles in his squint, and I especially love his enormous teeth and gums, and the slight discoloration on it all. And perhaps the fact that I don't have much to say means that he speaks for himself - as best as someone with a debilitating speech impediment can - because only when something is either so over the top it warrants discussion or so awful it warrants discussion do I have a lot to say. I think being in that sweet spot, that perfect middle of the road, really means the mask does all the talking for it, and that's great. Also makes my job a whole lot easier.

But, if you're still not satisfied with the horrifying imagery that is Chomper McTooth, then I leave you with this.

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