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Bug Eyed, Snarl Toothed, Giant Honking People Sniffer

You want a cartoon witch personified in rubber mask form? Ask and you shall receive!

Actually, if we're being totally honest, this thing looks a lot like The Old Witch horror host that EC comics used in their horror comics back in the 50s and 60s, almost to a tee. Right down to the ragged hood, the maddening grin, the plump eyeballs (and it just occurred to me that I may be the first person to ever write the phrase 'plump eyeballs' and since doing so I hope to god I'm the last because boy is that an uncomfortable combination of words) and the white straggly hair. Like a demented grandmother hell bent on murdering and then cooking her own grandchildren, this ugly bitch is certainly a mask with attitude, and I love that.

I'm not sure if the eyes glow proper, or they're simply an extremely shiny shade of orange, but either way I think it's a fantastic addition to the overall design and I can't get enough of it, even if one of them is seemingly popping right out of the sockets. If it does turn out that the eyes glow, then that's an added level of awesomeness, but since I can neither confirm nor deny that, I guess we'll never really know. A shame. Rest assured however, glowing eyes or not, if I saw this thing walking around my neighborhood, I think I'd get the Hansel out of there as quick as possible.

The sad thing is this is the only image I have of this thing, because it's the only one uploaded to the eBay listing I yoinked it from, so this is the only angle we have here on Granny McFear, and I'm not even sure who's responsible for it, which is a real shame because I'd love to give either the designer or the production company a shoutout for turning out something of such high quality.

One of the very first posts I made on this blog was all about masks molded after senior citizens, but this isn't an example of that, because while it certainly shows a haggard old woman, it's a caricature, it isn't meant to be mocking or any of the sort. It's based more on fictional witch types from old fairy tales than simply that old angry woman who lives alone at the end of your block and smells like death incarnate. But god, the linework on this thing is impeccable, giving her all the right kinds of wrinkles in all the right kinds of places. Hell, it appears they even went to the effort of giving her eyebrows, which wasn't necessary, as if she wasn't hairy enough already.

Seriously, her head looks like it's being digested by a fucking mop, for god sakes.

My only real gripe, if I have one, would have to be the mouth and teeth. They're too...standard. They seemed to go all out in most aspects, but then cut corners when it came to the mouth, and that's disappointing. The teeth could've been a tad more detailed, maybe more cracked or discolored, and the gumline is simply black, which is fine, except that the teeth aren't yellow enough to really stand out against the black. I don't know, maybe I'm nitpicking, but it's something that really irks me when the rest of the mask is so perfect. When something is so well made, that one thing that isn't up to snuff with the rest of it really sticks out, and it's hard to look past it.

I don't really have much to say about this mask, sadly, especially seeing as we only have one particular image to work with, but I felt like it was so well crafted that it warranted a post anyway. I just love when people really go the extra mile for something like a mask, and even when the teeth aren't perfect, it still stands out as an absolutely perfect mask. Rarely are things this well produced, this well molded, this perfectly sculpted and extremely detailed, and it makes me sad because I think this could stand as a prime example of why people should try harder when making masks.

So I guess that's really all I have to say.

It's so perfect I don't even really have anything but gushing admiration to talk about, and that can only go so far and be so interesting. I will admit that wearing this thing is probably extremely hot, as it seems like a rubber mask that covers the entire head, so I can only imagine that you'd sweat to near death inside of it, which is probably exactly how the witch wants it.

They do like to cook kids, remember?

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