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David, From Accounting



Not every mask can be a serpent demon from the bowels of hell.

Some are gonna just look like normal people with giant foreheads, such as our good friend David, from accounting, here. I love this mask because it's so...normal? There's almost nothing spectacular about it, and yet that's what makes it spectacular. I like to imagine that this guy, David (from accounting), is just a normal dude with a normal life and job. He just happens to have an enormous wrinkly forehead. But he doesn't let that stop him from living his dream! Which apparently is accounting. I love the dark tone given to this, and I especially love the wide nose and the black circles around the eyes (which I can only assume is from all the crying he does every night because he's an accountant).

David - from accounting - seems to have what appears to be a cold sore on his lip, and he's slowly starting to bald, but hey, these are things lots of people deal with, which only makes him all the more relatable. He looks burnt out from his job and run down from his lack of a social life, and really, I doubt the person who wears this mask needs it because they likely look the same way and that's why they were drawn to good ol' Davey from accountin' here. They saw him on the shelf, picked him up, lovingly stroked his hair and, as if looking into a mirror they wrote "you're a champion" with lipstick on one night in a drunken stupor, whispered ever so sweetly, "It's okay. You're with friends now."

But that's the thing about David, the guy from accounting...he's not your friend.

Oh he may look normal (or as normal as a guy with a forehead the size of a mountain can be) but at night, when you're sleeping, he sits on the shelf and whispers sweet nothings into the cool dark air, telling you to kill your loved ones, kill your loved ones loved ones, kill yourself even. David has two things he will never stop doing: Being an accountant, and filling your head with violent thoughts. That's why he's so dangerous. He looks innocent enough, but behind that forehead of mass proportions lies...well, nothing, cause it's a mask, but, ya know...evil, I guess? Anyone who chooses to have anything to do with math for their career is inherently evil. Sorry folks, I don't make the rules, I just calls 'em like I sees 'em.

In all honesty, David, that big headed accountant, is a pretty boring mask. Not gonna lie. His eyes are a interesting shade of "guacamole left in the sun too long" green and, though his forehead is large and very much in charge, it's really the only other super interesting thing he's got going for him. I won't lie, I appreciate the addition of the ears here, if only because no other mask ever seems to utilize that physical aspect for some reason and it makes things all the more eerie for some reason, but other than that...

...you know, I have reason to believe that Davey Jones, from the accountants locker, actually isn't a man at all and that his forehead is simply a parasite of some kind that's latched onto his head and is slowly taking control of him. That's the only way to explain it. His head isn't that big because it's full of dreams, and while one could argue that perhaps it's where he stores all his mathematical knowledge like the fucking nerd he is, I don't think that's the case. Just look at his soulless eyes. This is an accountant ready to calculate your death, not your taxes.
All in all, David, from accounting, is likely the most boring mask I've featured here, but I figured there'd still be enough to goof on, and ya know what, I think I was right. Sure his honker of a nose (a useful tool in sniffing out tax evaders) and his chapped lips and his horribly large eyes that look like a teenage girl trying on eyeliner for the first time and smearing it everywhere, not that I'm one to judge as I'm 31 and I'm bad at it myself, so, are all interesting features...along with his weird big ears, there's just nothing really interesting to say about him. He's got a big parasitic creature posing as a forehead and he liked math enough to make it his job in life.

Frankly, if I'm being honest, I'm sorta rooting for the parasitic forehead monster in this equation. Because what kind of fucking weird likes math that much? David, from accounting, apparently.

Freak.

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