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Just A Rubber Danny Devito


Hello and welcome back to the show. Today on the "things that look like designs for an 80s Saturday morning kids cartoon" program, we have here with us this classic peach toned vinyl mask, topped with the hair of Gene Simmons and the most beautiful eyes you'll ever see on something truly not deserving of them. This mask hails from the "what in gods name were you thinking?" region, and is currently a popular specimen among only the most serious of collectors. If you, or a loved one, are interested in owning this rare piece of hideous history, then call us now at the You Shouldn't Be Buying This Network, just dial the number on the screen and for 10 easy installments of your own mortal soul, you too can own this absolutely terrifying number. Supplies are limited, because only a few of these can exist in the world without angering God, so make sure to call now.

I'm not going to be the sort of person to judge the mutated version of Howard Hughs, but I do think this design is one of the stranger I've covered on this blog thusfar. It's another mask much in the line of Jawesome and Braniac Suckerface, the sort of classic 80s/90s rubber monster mask style, and for that I appreciate it, but this one just doesn't seem to have the same personality as those did. They can't all be winners, I suppose. But that being said, we shouldn't talk down about him either. He's still a great mask with a unique personality all his own, even he does just sort look like someone asked, "What if we made a monster Denny Devito?"

He's got your classic suckerface mouth, and fantastic looking eyes and crazy wild hair. I'm not a big fan of his peach tone, but hey, that's a small negative aspect amongst a rather well made mask, and that's a personal thing anyway, so. The really confusing aspect of this mask, to me anyway, is the horn. It just seems so...tacked on. What purpose could it possibly serve and why's it kind of clash with the rest of the design? If you're gonna give this guys horns, maybe just give him matching horns, devil style instead of this weird Unicorn monstrosity you've created.

Now, judging from this image, we can see this mask was created by a company called Topstone Industries. I did a little bit of research, but they mostly appear to be defunct. Though I did manage to scrounge up this blog post from a blog that seems eerily similar to my own but so much older, so that's cool that someone else out there is so interested in this sort of stuff. Though, I couldn't find Rubber Danny Devito anywhere in the images provided in that post. Either way, the neat, unique thing about this mask is how it's battery operated, which is kind of a rarity, especially with these rubber monster masks. Apparently his eyes light up and the whole thing makes noises? Truly a cool feature of a mask that looks designed after a smashed, rotting peach Still, I wish there were more information on this guy, but I can't find any, so maybe someone with better Google skills than I can do the deed.

I still don't know how you think, "God, why doesn't a kid wanna dress up like Edarem with a larvae growing out of his head?" but hey, at least you're thinking outside the box, and I gotta give you credit for at least trying to be creative and original. We sure don't have much of that today in this industry. Ultimately, I actually don't really have a whole lot to say about this mask. I just think he's a neat example of a mish mash of concepts that shouldn't work and still, somehow, does. If that isn't a metaphor for succeeding against all odds, being inspirational as all hell, then I don't know what is, frankly. So what if you're a horrid puke toned goblin with a horn growing out your head and the hair of Bernie Sanders? You're still awesome.

So go out there and horrify someone, you  awful fucking monster, you.

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