The Shape Of Grubby

Before Doug Jones made it cool to want to openly fuck humanoid fish people, fishophiles had to live in fear, secluded to their hollywood homes, their careers stalled while they continued shutting down rumors of their love of the animals dwelling in the sea. It's okay Troy McClure, we still love you. But now that it's apparently totally fine to say you want to sleep with The Creature From The Black Lagoon, let's explore that a bit more with this fine mask, whom I'm named Grubby. He just looks like a Grubby, you know?

This is actually a fairly decently made mask, upon first glance. The scales on the throat, that wild eye design mixed with a weirdly out of place and yet acceptable human nose, along with the tiny barnacles growing on his head and the wild Bozo The Clown hair, this thing's got it goin' on. And I don't mean that in a sexual way. I am not one of the women who wants to fuck fish creatures. I'm more of a lesbian werewolf kind of person. Either way, Grubby exists, and he exists in that great era of "what the fuck is that thing" when it comes to masks. It's not really a human, despite it's human characteristics, but it's not fully fish despite its fish characteristics. It's like a human/fish hybrid from space, and I for one am absolutely here for this. This is the kind of stuff masks should be striving to be.

Hell, even the coloring on Grubby is fantastic. The red hair mixes with the teal and then deeper blues of the rubber, and that red onion purple on those eyelids is wicked (and the eyelids themselves are a pretty nice touch, come to think of it!) and the tan in the middle of the face isn't so out of place that it throws the whole thing off kilter. No, Grubby is well made, well designed, and an all around pleasure to look at and discuss. I really have genuinely no mean things to say about Grubby. He's a masterpiece, through and through, If anything, my only complaint would be the same one I've used before, in that we no longer get masks like Grubby.

And those EYES. Those eyes apparently light up! Just as mine do when I see his sweet little fish face. Grubby is the face of those who wish to be accepted even in light of all their differences. Grubby is all of us, really. He represents the human condition, despite not being human, of simply wanting to be accepted even in the face of their physical differences to our own. Now, I am by no means equating a fucking rubber fish alien mask with something like minority groups fights for acceptance and equality. I'm a queer woman, I'm autistic, I'm rather physically handicapped, and while I'm not black, I do want it recognized that this is a joke blog for the most part, and that our fights for simply being as other fucking human beings is not the same as this. I'm just trying to be funny. So before you "cancel" me or whatever, just let that be known.

But really, Grubby looks friendly, and he looks like he would want to be accepted like anyone else, and isn't that just what everyone wants, you know? Especially those of us who are different? We just want everyone else to accept us for who we are instead of taking one look at us and then basing their entire opinion on that ridiculous stereotyped generalization. "You wanna come to the Human party? You're not even human! Go back to the lake you flopped out of, you fish fuck!" Grubby shouldn't suffer at the hands of anyone who would want to hurt other people simply for being different. Also, this is not pro fish. This is pro Grubby. I love animals and all, sure, but I'm by no means saying that a Salmon has the same value as I do. A salmon didn't write and design this blog, alright? Should we be mean to animals? Of course not! But I'm still going to eat them, because I'm a meat eater, end of story, and you'll be happy to know, much like Grubby will be too, that I don't even like fish as a food, so they're safe.

...where the hell was I going with this? Oh, right, designs and shit. This is such a well made mask, and I love it. As with most masks on this blog, I found these photos on Ebay and as such have no information on the maker of it, so sadly we cannot know where it hails from, but whoever it was that worked on it did just the absolute best job, and it's the best kind of best too because it's good for everyone. It's not too gruesome for children, and it's not overtly adult for your weird Halloween sex orgies, no, it's just Grubby. A human/fish alien who wants to be the light of our eyes. And you know what? He's already achieved that in my heart. I love you, Grubby.

I wish I had the money to buy every single mask I feature on this blog, because I hate the idea of something like Grubby, or The Lovely Terror or Jawesome or Braniac Suckerface just stuffed into a plastic create (and that's being hopeful, that they're protected) in someones basement somewhere, not being celebrated and used and seen for the works of art that they really are. It makes me so sad. Almost as sad as minority groups being treated like shit and having to fight to be treated like real living people. Wherever you are, Grubby, I hope you're safe and well taken care of. I hope they understand you. I hope they love you.

When I started this blog, I didn't expect it to become as positive as it has been, in terms of my feelings towards these masks, but I'm glad that that's the way it's gone, because I need it. I need this positivity, this happiness, this love.

Because there's too much hate in this world as it is.

I love you Grubby, and to anyone out there who feels like they're stuck under the heterosexual, cisgender, eternally white majority, I love you too. Hopefully the rest of the world stops wearing masks, and starts facing us as the great people we are, because we deserve it.