Face Your Fears

To paraphrase MST3K, "Every frame of someone in this movie looks like their last known photo". This looks like something someone would send to the parents of the woman they've clearly kidnapped, skinned the face off of and are now using it in some fucked up cat and mouse game, which is obviously written by James Patterson. Honestly, this thing is...weird? I don't really know how to broach this subject, exactly, cause there's a lot of levels here. On one hand, this appears to be a woman, using a mask, because the hair doesn't look attached to the mask, and yet the hair seems to fit with the mask so extremely well that it makes me question whether it's their actual hair or not. This is a strange mask too because there's nothing inherently creepy about it, outside the general uncanny valleyness of it all. I mean, it's just a face. It's a glossy, slightly inhuman face, but a face nonetheless. Nothing scary, they're even smiling! The de...

Before Doug Jones made it cool to want to openly fuck humanoid fish people, fishophiles had to live in fear, secluded to their hollywood homes, their careers stalled while they continued shutting down rumors of their love of the animals dwelling in the sea. It's okay Troy McClure, we still love you. But now that it's apparently totally fine to say you want to sleep with The Creature From The Black Lagoon, let's explore that a bit more with this fine mask, whom I'm named Grubby. He just looks like a Grubby, you know? This is actually a fairly decently made mask, upon first glance. The scales on the throat, that wild eye design mixed with a weirdly out of place and yet acceptable human nose, along with the tiny barnacles growing on his head and the wild Bozo The Clown hair, this thing's got it goin' on. And I don't mean that in a sexual way. I am not one of the women who wants to fuck fish creatures. I'm more of a lesbian werewolf kind of person. Ei...